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Creative Computers CD-ROM, Volume 1 (Legendary Design Technologies, Inc.)(1994).iso
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next_(de)generation.pp
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next_(de)generation
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1994-11-17
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1,552 lines
Star Trek: The Next (de)Generation
"Where No Sane Man Would Go"
Captain's Log, Stardate 32768.0:
After a particularly poorly written but nonetheless successful
first season, the Enterprise has been assigned to do an exploratory survey
of an unexplored quadrant nearest the center of the galaxy, in the hopes
that something interesting will happen. On another note, I must admit that
I am somewhat distressed at the seemingly random nature of these stardates
I am required to quote. They remain a great mystery to me, despite the
extensive research that was done on them nearly 400 years ago.
Picard: Stop smirking, number one.
Riker: I wasn't aware that I was, sir.
Picard: You do, Riker. All the time. And stop leaning against things
with your head hunched down between your shoulders.
Riker: [Standing up straight for a change] Aye, sir.
[ Tweedlesquirge ]
Data: Captain, ship's sensors have detected a derelict spacecraft at
extreme range.
Picard: Analysis?
Data: It's too far away for any meaningful scan, sir.
Picard: Then how do you know it's a derelict?
Data: I do not know, sir. I would speculate that it is a writer's error.
Picard: Obviously. Well, let's rubberband our way over there and have a
look at it. Geordi, set course.
Geordi: Aye, sir. Three two two point eight nine mark four three....
seven... and some other meaningful numbers.
Picard: Engage.
[ Purrdlefreezowp ]
EXTERNAL SHOT:
[ fwEESH!!! POOOWWWWWW!!!!! ]
BRIDGE:
Data: Approaching derelict craft.
Picard: Scan it, Mr. Data.
[ Blinkitydinkitydinkityzeerp ]
Data: It appears to be an old Earth craft from the late 20th century.
Picard: [Muttering] Not again....
Data: It seems to be saucer-shaped, with little lights that spin around
and around on the bottom, serving no other readily apparent
function.
Riker: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Troi: Hey! That's MY line!
Riker: Well, you dropped your cue....
Picard: I will *not* have petty bickering on my bridge.
Data: Awwww....
Picard: Riker, put together an away team.
Riker: Aye, sir. Geordi, Worf; come with me. [Shouting at ceiling]
Lieutenant Tsu to the bridge.
Ceiling: OH, GOODIE!
Picard: And don't bother to wear environmental suits, since they obviously
have an oxygen-pressurized atmosphere over there.
Riker: Of course, sir.
--------
[ Fade. Opening credits. Commerical for Ginsu Knives and a
digital watch (if you order now), followed by a man accusing you of having
gingivitis. ]
--------
Captain's Log, Stardate 32768.5:
We have encountered a dippy-looking flying saucer. Riker, LaForge,
and Worf are beaming over to investigate. While these plots always resolve
themselves in 50 minutes, I nontheless feel that this is going to be very
unpleasant.
INTERIOR, DERELICT SPACECRAFT. A DOME-ISH STRUCTURE IS IN THE MIDDLE THAT
LOOKS VAGUELY LIKE A COMPASS. STEEL SQUARES ADORN ONE WALL, DESCENDING TO A
LOWER LEVEL, RIGHT NEXT TO AN ELEVATOR. THE CAMERA PANS TO A CONTROL PANEL
FILLED WITH SWITCHES AND FLASHING LIGHTS WHICH IS SET BEFORE A LARGE
ORDINARY PLATE GLASS WINDOW WHICH LOOKS OUT INTO OPEN SPACE.
[ FFFeeeeeerrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzsssshhhhhhhh! The away team appears. ]
Riker: [Tapping communicator] Down and safe.
Worf: Uh, wrong series, sir.
Riker: Ooops...
Picard: Good, number one. Keep the channel open and continue to report.
Riker: Aye, sir.
Picard: And don't smirk.
Riker: Yes, sir.
Geordi: Sir, this doesn't make any sense. This is an ordinary plate glass
window, and yet it looks out onto open space. It should shatter
under the pressure.
Riker: That's nothing compared to what I think we're going to find.
Worf: OOoooo. Foreshadowing.
Geordi: [Looking through a disc of plexiglas] Now, *this* is
interesting...
Picard: Describe what you see, Geordi.
Geordi: I see... Jimmy, and Tommy, and Billy, and Susan, and Mary......
Riker: Come on, Worf. Let's go downstairs.
[ Riker and Worf go downstairs. ]
Riker: Well, here we are downstairs.
Worf: It appears to be the crew's quarters.
[ Riker draws a curtain and finds two bunkbeds, with a human female
in each. ]
Riker: Hey! Lookit what I found!
Picard: What have you found, Number One?
Riker: No, I found two females. They appear to be in some sort of coma.
[ Worf draws another curtain, and finds two human males. ]
Worf: Two more humans over here, sir. They also appear to be comatose.
[ Riker moves to examine the newfound humans, while Worf draws
another curtain and finds a young boy and an oldish man. ]
Worf: Still more over here, also dead to the universe.
Picard: Let's hope they stay that way.
[ Suddenly, the old man wakes with a start. ]
O.M: AAGGGHHH!!!! Oh, good heavens! Who are you?? What do you want??
Riker: No such luck, sir.
Picard: Oh, piss...
O.M: [Pointing at Worf, cowering] What are *you*??
Worf: I am a Klingon.
O.M: [Cowering] Oh, how very apt.
[ As a result of the old man's screaming, the others come out of
their coma. ]
Man 1: Who are you? What are doing on my ship?
Woman 1: Who are they?
Man 1: I don't know.
Worf: I think we better get Geordi down here, sir.
Riker: Agreed. [Taps comm.] Geordi....
Geordi: ...Patrick, and Walter, and Edna, and Sally, and.....
Riker: Put a sock in it, LaForge, and get down here!
Geordi: .... er, yes, sir!
Man 1: Who are you?
Riker: I am Commander William T. Riker, and this is Lieutenant Worf.
Man 1: Where do you come from? How did you get aboard?
Riker: We're from the Starship Enterprise.
Man 1: Never heard of it.
[ Riker and Worf flash each other quizzical looks. Geordi enters
from the rear of the room. ]
Riker: We're from Starfleet Command.
[ No response. ]
Riker: The United Federation of Planets.
[ Still no response. ]
Riker: Earth, you dullards!
Man 1: Oh! Sorry. We've been out of touch for a while.
Riker: And you are.....
Man 1: My name is Robinson. This is my wife, whose name I can't seem to
remember; my co-pilot, whose name I also can't seem to remember;
my daughter, Penny; and my son, Will.
O.M: [Sheepishly] Hello...
Robinson: And *that* is Dr. Zachary Smith.
Smith: How do you do, sir. I apologize for my appalling behavior earlier.
I should have recognized immediately that you were from Earth. I
fear my powers of perception are failing me.
[ A vaguely mechanical voice descends on the elevator. ]
Voice: Disturbance! Disturbance! I will render assistance.
Robnsn: And that is our robot.
Picard: Riker! What's going on???
Riker: We've encountered six humans and a robot. They seem ordinary
enough, though they haven't heard of the Federation.
Data: I recommend we beam them over, sir.
Picard: You would.
Geordi: I concur with Data, sir. That plate glass window is going to go
at..... *Any Moment!*
Picard: Oh, very well. But keep them out of my way.
Tsu: [Bouncing onto the bridge, if you know what I mean, and I think
you do] I'm here, sir.
Picard: Good. Take Geordi's station.
Riker: Transporter room!
Xport: Sir.
Picard: Nine people and a robot to beam over.
Xport: Ready to beam you over, sir.
Riker: Engage.
Xport: You mean "energize".
Riker: Oh, yeah. Right.
Xport: ........ Well?
Riker: ENERGIZE!!!!!!
[ FFFeeeeeerrrrrrrrzzzzzzzzsssshhhhhhhh! ]
CUT TO MEDICAL BAY. THE DOCTOR IS EXAMINING DR. SMITH. THE REST OF THE
DIPS ARE WATCHING. PICARD ENTERS WITH DATA AND TROI. THE DOCTOR TURNS TO
ADDRESS PICARD.
McCoy: Dammit, Picard. What do you think you're doing throwing these